Walking my daughter down the aisle

On the 15th of May, 2011,  I was honored to conduct the wedding ceremony for my youngest daughter,  Katrina.

I love my new son-in-law and consider him to be my newest son.  But I did give him some words of warning encouragement about treating my daughter well!  Coincidentally, I mentioned that I do have a shotgun in my home (grin).

I also believe that Aron and Katrina have a deep love for each other.  However, with so many marriages ending in divorce these days, something must be broken in our present-day concept of love.  So, during the ceremony, I offered some advice about what might help couples “stay in love. ”

First,  here is a quote from 1st Corinthians 13, verses 4-8 (from Eugene Peterson’s Message Bible:

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Love doesn’t strut,

Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others,

Isn’t always “me first,”

Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end. Love never dies.

That is a powerful description of love. But this is poetry and lest someone claim “poetic license” was used, I feel that I should elaborate.

Here is a short summary of what I believe are the five elements of true love:

1. Attraction: All humans (and even the animals) experience the natural attraction for another and the base desire to reproduce. Often it is based exclusively on physical appearance and is sometimes called “love at first sight.” For some, this is the extent of love as they know it and after sexual union, they are off to another “conquest.” Others may move from the initial attraction mode to a deeper experience. Those who do not, tend to express their “love” in a way that seems to say, “I will love you as long as you please me.” With that attitude, they are certain to “fall out of love” in a very short time.
2. Emotional Attachment: This is how many dictionaries define love. It is certainly an important element in true love but emotions are subject to a wide variety of external influences. Some have surmised that the line between love and hate is very thin. And what can cause one to slip from emotional love to hatred? It could be something as simple as a misspoken word or a misunderstood action. It could be the result of the actions of a third party. At a ball game, the actions of the players result in our emotions running the gammot from exultation to near grief. If we are to experience true love, we must go beyond our fleeting emotions.
3. Passion: Here, we are not speaking about erotic passion (although that kind of passion does have a place in the marriage bed). Any focused and long-term zeal might be called a passion. The zeal for doing things together is more in line with the concept of passion in love. We must never stop wanting to be close to our mate and to experience everything together.  But neither should we live so as to smother or stifle the object of our affections. We must be self-controlled and balanced in our passion. If not, the same pressures that case burn-out in over-zealous workers may lead to a total loss of passionate love. From the opposite perspective, the overly jealous mate may be so controlling as to cause the other to loose true passion in the relationship.
4. Intimacy: Again, the secular & base definition of “being intimate” is so much less than true intimacy with our marriage partner.  The “world” knows that all these things are needed to make love last. By re-writing the definitions into purely sexual terms, they assure that the number of divorces will continue to increase. The intimacy that is meant here is the closeness and caring that is defined by the agape’ love of Christ. It is that care that is self-sacrificing and puts the needs of the other before our own needs. As Peterson says (above), “Love cares more for others than for self.” This kind of intimacy will cause one to be willing to suffer great personal loss in order to bring care and comfort to the other.
5. Commitment: To some extent, each of the previous elements could be considered as external. (Intimacy probably does not fit this generalization.) To a greater or lesser degree, each of these elements are dependent on other people and their actions. But in the Bible, we are commanded to love – regardless of the actions of others. That is an internal decision that we must make. It speaks to your mate, “If your mind gets feeble and you don’t even recognize me any more – I will still love and care for you — Till death do us part!” Perhaps that is the element of love that is most absent in the multitude of marriages that end in divorce.

THAT is the kind of love that “never dies.” So, to my “bride” of 47 years, “I CHOOSE to love you – until death separates us.”

Updated on October 7, 2011 to add a few additional ideas and to correct some grammatical errors.

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During the late fall of 2008, God began to nudge my heart for a new passion for evangelism. In prayer, I felt strongly convicted that my own preaching had become too “general” and not focused on pointing the unbeliever to Christ. At the same time I was finishing the manuscript on A Life Worth Living and was engrossed in Paul’s passion for the unbeliever and the message of mercy and grace. As a result some new messages began to come to my heart for those who did not know Christ. With a grateful heart, I began to see people showing up in the services who came forward to receive Christ and in almost every service where I preached Christ, the Savior, I’m seeing people come to the Lord. It has been so refreshing and has given a new momentum to my public ministry.

But God was not finished…

In thanking God for those who were receiving Him, I felt him pushing me deeper…probing and inquiring…who are you relating to in daily life that are not believers? I began to consider the many people I know and relate to on a daily basis…the search was disappointing.

I could not come up with 10 people I relate to on a daily basis who were unbelievers!

My professional ministerial career seems to insulates me from the unbelieving world. I deal with pastors, ministers, church leaders, families, etc. but few unbelievers and even then, the relationship is not friendship but pastoral in nature.

Yet, in my heart I know God is calling me to a life of WITNESS. So, what can I do?

• I joined a local gym.
• I’m changing habits for greater access to people outside my comfort circle.
• I’m getting to know my neighbors intentionally.

I love the story of the demon possessed man who, after deliverance, wanted to travel with Christ.  After he refused, Jesus simply told him–”go home and tell them what good things God has done for you!”  I have a story to tell.  It is a story of grace undeserved and mercy so needed.  I am a visible demonstration of God’s work in the life of one who needed grace.  I’m sure you are as well.   Yet, there is a new learning curve in my life as I get more engaged with this world where I live and the environments where God has positioned me for His glory.  Can you relate?

How many unbelievers do you know as friends?

Why is so difficult for ministers to connect to the unbelieving world beyond the pulpit experience?

What ideas do you have to share to open my world to those who need Christ?

I would love to hear from you this week.

I’ll be checking back.

Link to Forward Leadership Blog

Someone mentioned to me recently in their assessment of another person — “the man is a born leader!”  As I reflected later on the thought, I’m not sure I totally accept the concept that leadership is a genetic marker for an individual.

Leadership giftings are bestowed to us by God.  When we recognize that God has given us a gift, then the development of that gift is upon us.  As we grow in Christ, our development as a leader can potentially grow if we apply ourselves.  Sadly, some have never taken time to enhance their skills, learn from their mistakes and are still stuck in the rut of their present leadership style.

• I’m not the preacher/speaker I once was.
• I’m not the leader I started out to be.

Some of my gifts are better utilized than they used to be.  In other cases, I’ve recognized that what I thought was a gift was, in fact, a secret wish which will never come true!  Recognizing that frees me to pursue my genuine calling/gifts and become a better leader and servant for God.

I’m passionate about the development of leaders.  Each of us can improve, even the PERFECT ones!

What steps are you personally taking to improve your leadership potential?

Link to Forward Leadership Blog

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.”

Make Disciples

The word discipleship has HUGE baggage with it. For some it brings memories of a boring class, or workbook. For others it brings memories of a set of legalistic rules you had to follow for 8 weeks and at the end of that time you were handed a piece of paper that said you were officially a disciple. I remember when I was a teenager and I was signed up for the Tuesday night discipleship program in my youth group. At the end of the night after finishing 1/8 of our discipleship process my girlfriend and I would sneak out behind the church and do things that were not very “disciple like”  These programs and people were not wrong in their motive, and at some time or another all of us have tried to use a systematic program to make disciples, but at the end of that road we have dealt with the frustration of our people being smarter but not transformed.

Discipleship is not information download or attendance!

So what is it? How do we make disciples? Well….for me to give a systematic answer would not do you any good since those don’t work. All I can do is speak from my experiences and reading of the gospels. Read the rest of this entry »

Ray Waldo

Ray Waldo is a retired minister with a passion for sharing knowledge, understanding and (if possible), wisdom with everyone he meets. Prior to his retirement, Ray served as a local pastor and as a short-term missionary to Mexico, Kenya, Uganda & the Democratic Republic of Congo (while the country was still in conflict).

Ray holds ministerial credentials with the Church of God (Cleveland) and his current assignment is that of “Technology Evangelist.” He is available to speak & consult with churches or others concerning his specialty of merging technology with ministry.

He graduated from Mississippi State University with a MEd in Educational Psychology, with emphasis in statistics. As a bi-vocational minister, Ray worked in the electronics field and later took a position as a Logistics Planner for the government. He is also an avid technology freak and has professional credentials for Microsoft products and, lately he has become a big fan of Ubuntu Linux.

Ray is also a widely recognized teacher and public speaker. He is currently working on two books that he expects to be published within the next two years. These books are being written online. Follow the development at “James on Trial” and “Eye on the Future – Hand on the Salt.” The Chief Shepherd site (http://chiefshepherd.com) serves ministers on seven continents.

Vivian has tolerated Ray since their marriage in 1964. They have three grown children (who happen to be the most beautiful children ever born) and two grandsons (also perfect). They also have four adopted children at home (all of the canine species but they don’t tell them about it). The 6-member Waldo family resides in a lovely home in one of the most beautiful and peaceful locations in Southern Louisiana. Ray’s description of his life: “I am truly blessed. God is good!”

Is that flowery enough <grin>?

Someone has said, “Harboring anger is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

The 18th-century British physician John Hunter, who was a pioneer in the field of surgery and served as surgeon to King George III, suffered from angina. Discovering that his attacks were often brought on by anger, Hunter lamented, “My life is at the mercy of any scoundrel who chooses to put me in a passion.”

These words proved prophetic, for at a meeting of the board of St. George’s Hospital in London, Hunter got into a heated argument with other board members, walked out, and dropped dead in the next room.