If there is a single most difficult thing in ministry, I believe it might be how to tell people “no” and not feel bad about it. There are always requests for a minister to do something.

I have written several articles recently about visitation – whether it is an absolute requirement for all ministers or not. See the most recent post here. But there are many other “requirements” that are placed upon ministers. Some come from the common laundry list of “duties” that are in our job description (or assumed to be). Others are individual requests from members and friends of the church or community for us to help with certain needs or activities. Even when we know that our plate if full, we find it difficult to say no to any of the worthy requests. Read the rest of this entry »

Can you have your cake and eat it too?

ABC news is reporting that a New York judge is granting a lesbian couple a formal divorce – even though New York does NOT allow gay marriage!

I am trying to be realistic here. According to the article, one of the women (Donna M.) “had argued that her 2004 marriage should be invalid in New York because the state doesn’t allow same-sex marriage.” Either Donna has had a change of heart (hopefully) or she is trying to have it BOTH ways. She & Beth R. had “married” in Canada in 2004 and evidently had moved to New York expecting to retain the benefits of marriage. But somehow, they now have decided to part company and are seeking redress in the courts.

The difficulty here is that New York does not have a law to address same-sex marriage. ABC reports that “at least 41 states have laws defining marriage as between a man and a woman.” Read the rest of this entry »

The Pittsburgh Tribune Review is reporting that a public school teacher’s aide has been arrested in connection with an all-night party for juveniles in a hotel room that the aide rented.

According to the article “Abbie Jane Swogger, 34, of State Street, Harrison, was arrested at her home. Charges include possession of crack and powdered cocaine, and drug paraphernalia, including a digital scale, and corrupting the morals of minors.”

Although this incident relates to a public school employee, it is always possible that an employee or volunteer of the church may be involved in an illegal or improper activity involving the children in the church. What makes this case stand out is that a related story reports that the school had apparently not made the appropriate background checks prior to Swogger’s employment. Read the rest of this entry »